|
DILEMMA:
"Mark" was a respected, competent department manager.
Following a recent corporate restructuring, he now reported to a
new director. This new leader constantly criticized Mark’s
work, overloaded him with projects that were not this
department’s responsibility, undermined his authority over those
he managed, and issued unreasonable deadlines. When Mark
decided, as a last resort, to seek out a coach, he was “a
wreck,” and ready to quit his job, unless there was some other
way around it.
HOW THE COACH WORKS:
Initially, Mark needed a sounding board for his emotions
and frustration. Given the charged and changed work
environment, I could certainly understand his upset. So
offering empathy was a first priority to start building a
relationship of trust. There were two things that were
important for Mark to understand. That his view--his
thoughts-- on the situation created his emotions, and
his emotions created his reactions and behavior. So he needed
to come to a place of realization that his situation was not
totally created by his boss, but that he was part of it too,
being that he had strong reactions. It is difficult for most of
us to accept change. And with some changes there are feelings
of loss that we don’t identify or come to grips with. “Things
were great before this reorganization, and now things will never
be the same,” stated Mark. He’s right...things will never be
the same. That is a truth, and a reality. We needed to address
feelings of sadness and anger (at the old regime for allowing
this to occur; some betrayal, here), so that we could move
forward. Interestingly, Mark realized his anger wasn’t entirely
towards his boss. We then agreed that Mark had two choices. He
did have choices. He could resign, or he could choose to find a
way to adapt to the departmental changes, that would not demean
him, or compromise his professionalism, and that would comply
with his comfort level. Knowing he had choices diminished his
feeling of “being the victim.”
Secondly, we needed to work on the
difficult concept of “don’t take this personally.” His boss
certainly had a management style that was neither in accord with
nor sensitive to Mark’s needs. We needed to identify the boss’s
style, motivation, personality, and where his director’s
positioning fit in the pecking order with the organization's
power players. These would be reasons—not excuses —behind the
bosses drive. We worked on anticipating the director’s
responses, so that Mark felt more in control—not off guard. We
worked on assertiveness and honest conversations with the boss
on power, authority, competency, and leveraging his strengths,
differently. We worked on techniques to manage Mark’s stress,
so that he could feel in control under pressure, and maintain
calm.
Coaching is a partnership- type
relationship. Mark felt supported by someone who, not only has
a business background, but who could deliver a balance of
directness with understanding.
A coach can help you adapt to
workplace changes, and conflict, even those that initially look
like a losing battle. A coach can teach you skills to stay calm
and productive, when you’re under pressure. You can develop the
self control it takes to stand up for yourself, and resolve
conflicts positively.
Contact Carole
|
